Tim Pratt
SF and Fantasy Writer

Bordertown Book Giveaway Contest

People! I am throwing a contest. You can win a copy of Welcome to Bordertown, the awesome anthology that’s relaunching the beloved shared-world contemporary fantasy series.

My story “Our Stars, Our Selves” features a would-be rock star, and in recognition of that fact, here’s what you do to win:

Give me your best imaginary name for a band.

That’s it. Leave your ideal imaginary band name in the comments here, any time between now and midnight Pacific time on Friday, May 20th. I will choose my favorite (I dare not say “the best”), and the winner will be sent a copy of the anthology. One entry per commenter, please. (If I am utterly torn and unable to choose among the top contenders, I will apply some sort of randomization to determine the winner from that pool.) Do include an e-mail of some kind so I can contact you in case you win.

(Fake band names only, please. The point isn’t to promote your emocore shoegaze string quartet, no matter how cool your name is, though of course I wish you the best of luck.)

I mean, I assume everyone else is like me and my friends, in that every time you utter or encounter an unusual phrase, you immediately declare, “That’s going to be the name of my next band.” (I’ve named lots of fictional bands, from Allison Wonderland to Feral Sex Herd to Vicodin Love Confession — though I had to take that last one out of a novel when an actual band started using it as their name.) Now you can turn that band-naming impulse into sweet free book profit!

80 Responses to “Bordertown Book Giveaway Contest”

  1. Chuk Says:

    I think Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo would be a good band name, but only if you pronounce it right.

  2. Kip Manley Says:

    Bubbles O’Day and the Night.

  3. Ben Says:

    My Amazing Bird Burping Cat

  4. Katherin Gomez Says:

    The Sick Splits : )

  5. Katherin Gomez Says:

    The Sick Splits

  6. Michelle in Colorado Says:

    Alien Taste

  7. Kate Says:

    Love this contest!

    I’ve jumped into the lacuna and made my imaginary band “5,000 Eyelashes On A Peacock” moderate animal activists. Their first single “Mascara” raises peacock awareness. 🙂

  8. Tim M. Says:

    Three Laws

  9. Mary Branscombe Says:

    And The Lady Said Stet

  10. Kimberly B. Says:

    “The Dead White Guys”. Sort of like the “Rock Bottom Remainders”, only with historians, not authors.
    Thanks for the great giveaway!

  11. goetznl Says:

    Marla and the Masons

  12. Caio Marinho. Says:

    “The High-Z Supernova Search Team”

    Astronomy buffs anyone?

  13. Gary Says:

    Bride of Death
    The Jump Engines
    The Nex Big Thing
    The Masonites

    Hard to choose between the first or second listed…

  14. Sigrid Ellis Says:

    The band name is String Shellack. The first album is Frozen in Twine.

  15. Ellen Kushner Says:

    I know I can’t officially enter because of Conflict of Interest – but Tim, I love this contest so much I can hardly stand it!! So I’ll just say that my band name will be: Rivendell 9-1-1

    …I dunno. It just came to me.

  16. Soki Says:


  17. Rialian Says:

    ===Ok, off the top of my head, Daltows’ Dulcimer. (Just jumped into my head….(chuckles)

  18. Gregory Bossert Says:

    “Bury My Lady”.

    Laminda’s group “Matty and the Groves” can open for them; it’s not that “Bury My Lady” is any better, or any less drunk, it’s just that they are of noble kin…

  19. ClaireBear Says:

    Glimmer of Truth

    or, if an all-female band

    The Monstrous Regiment
    (always wanted to start that one myself)

  20. merkusa Says:

    My band entry: The Bootless Noobs

    Looking forward to reading you in Bordertown!

  21. Continuity Says:

    For the last year, my hypothetical band has been named “Schrödinger’s Yeti.” The origin is a long story, involving an online knitting-based Harry Potter rollplaying game, a feather pillow, and the mutation table in the lab of Ravenclaw Tower.

    (And this is all perfectly true. I can bring witnesses–and I was *not* the owner of the feather cushion.)

  22. Trevor Curtis Says:

    My name for a goth band I wanted to start: Kristian Zombie Vampires.

  23. ellise Says:

    Scheduled Cataclysm (always nice to pencil in your disasters)

    And I can’t help but want to spoonerize Merkusa’s entry to Newtless Boobs. Because even then it has this nice ring of a group that has no idea what they’ve just stumbled into.
    (turned me into a newt!)

  24. corva Says:

    Speak Easy and the Truth

  25. Pamela D. Lloyd Says:

    My top three band names:

    Kate and the Crackernuts

    Hedley Kow

    Elfland’s Row

  26. Carol Says:

    High Flying Floozies!

    I am Gypsy Rose, I play didj, sing, drum, dance with the band, and with our dazed groupies,in Bordertown. Come catch us at the Grass Shack, or at the Midnight Bandit!

  27. amber Says:

    i think the last band name i suggested in jest, as we were frustrated about a lack of name, was “chicken and the nuggets”

    but the last one that i thought i might use for a project (but haven’t yet, so this isn’t self-promotion…yet…) is “robot spelling bee”

  28. janeyolen Says:


    Grammar Witch



    First Star to the Right

    Touch Magic

    Humping the Heronry

    Fuck the Rapture

    Spinning the Wheel (okay, maybe not a band name but what I’m doing here!)

  29. Julia Walter Says:

    Speak Friend
    Windling’s Wallflowers
    Scooter & Aarka’an
    Mummer’s Dance
    Ron the Wolfboy
    Ysa and the Diggers
    Touch Magic

  30. Tim Pratt Says:

    Thanks everyone! The contest is over. I’ll post the winner on Monday!